Perished Dreams…
He was 23, about to end his stint at my work place and looking forward to furthering his studies. A respectful, pious and courteous guy, he was always very amiable when we bumped into each other. We even played football together after work. His death shocked many and a lot of questions were asked as to how he could have passed on at such a young age. The first thing that came to mind was him involving in an accident. But surprisingly even though he was a biker, he suffered his injuries when he was travelling in a car, drove by one of his colleagues.
He was seated at the back of the car on the way home from an outing. From what I’ve heard, the driver lost control and the car turned turtle 6 times somewhere along the Ngee Ann Polytechnic stretch. The driver and two other passengers had minor injuries but the deceased fell into a coma for about two months before finally succumbing to his injuries. The doctor even admitted with the amount of internal injuries suffered, he was “lucky” to still be alive then. I’ve got a feeling his injuries were bad due to the fact that he was not wearing a seatbelt. But whatever it is, it was his time to go. And till now I still cannot forget what a kind soul he was. At times, I do remember the instances and conversations I had with him. Even when I’m alone in the office lifts, I would sometimes be reminded of the times I chatted with him in there as we made our ways to the canteen. I was deeply saddened when I heard his passing last Friday morning that I cried in the office as soon as I entered it.
His funeral the following day was a poignant affair, attended by many colleagues, friends and family members. It was the measure of the man and how he had touched lives during his lifetime that many took time out to attend his funeral. Seeing his calm and smiling face for the last time, made me wonder if I would be like that when my time comes. Seeing how he had left us all at such a young age made me feel afraid and sad that life is indeed short and we would go at anytime. I am no angel, I’ll be the first to admit it. Which is why his passing has strengthened my resolve to be a better person and humble servant to HIM. May Allah bless his soul and place him in Jannah with all HIS close subjects, Amin… Amin… Ya Rabbal ‘Alamin…
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Speaking of the wedding solemnisation ceremony last Monday, I only caught it when I was watching the English news. Even then, the short clips made me sad and disappointed, a sunken feeling enveloping in me. The wife who was on MC, was nice enough to tape the whole razzmatazz for me but I just couldn’t bring myself to watch it. I just did not want the old feelings to resurface again after I’ve long buried them. My wife is my life now and I don’t want to go down that road again. So to keep myself in check, I have refused to watch the tape till now.
Am I secretly bitter??? To some extent I would say yes, with a dash of anger, a hint of disappontment and a pinch of sadness thrown in the mix, what with all the emails and theories that we’ve all been getting regularly in our inboxes. But I’ve learnt to let go, to remain at peace, and to not begrudge what God has bestowed on others. I am at a stage whereby I’m at peace with myself and thankful for what God has given me, a good wife, two good families, loving parents, caring siblings, a good job and a gift which I just received last Saturday which I can’t help but dote on. Life is generally good, Alhamdulillah, so I don’t need any unnecessary problems and emotions to cloud my mind. I believe experience has made the mind more matured in thinking and able to control emotions and feelings as best as we can.
To her, I wish her all the best as she embarks on a new journey in her life, ably assisted by the stewardship of the captain of her heart. May Allah bless their union and save them from any bad deeds and wrong doings towards them.
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You know, after all that had happened in my life, I am beginning to hate the last 2 weeks of August. My late maternal grandmother passed away on 26th August 1986, my late maternal great-grandmother passed on 28th August 1992, I got enlisted to the Army on 20th August 1999, my late paternal grandmother passed on 19th August 2001, my late colleague last Friday (18th August 2001) and she got married on 21st August 2006. So can you blame me for feeling what I feel???
Even though the wife’s birthday is about 5 days away and my niece, who is my current apple of my eye, celebrated her 3rd birthday 3 days ago and I just received that gift last Saturday, I just can’t help but feel the feelings of sadness outweigh the happiness. I just hope in time to come, August would be a better month for me and my loved ones…
In Mourning…
In Mourning…
Unpleasant Encounters…
It was great that I bumped into three of my neighbourhood football mates as I was making my way to the One Fullerton building via the underground walkway from Fullerton Hotel. We managed to pick a good spot, directly facing where the fireworks were fired off. Once the display ended, we quickly made our way to the main road. There, we noticed people climbing down from the shelter of the walkway at One Fullerton building. Well they certainly had a good view, not to mention enjoying a bit more space and air than those on the ground. It was then something bad nearly happened to me.
Out of admiration at watching these people get down from the shelter, I exclaimed loudly to my friends, “
Fuyooo real lah!!!“. Little did I realise that the guy in front of me who had just helped his girlfriend down from the shelter, turned around and stopped me from going further. With a menacing look on his face he asked, “Apa yang real???” I was taken aback by this gesture, but I knew this was a guy you wouldn’t want to mess around with, what with the studs on his face and the reeking smell of alcohol coming from his mouth. I just replied, “Takde… Orang turun dari atas…“ as I beckoned towards the people still climbing down from the shelter. I wasn’t sure if he was satisfied with my answer but he let me go when he heard that.
Architectural factors are just cosmetics. Like how we are in the eyes of God, it doesn’t matter what status we hold, how beautiful physically we are from another person or how educated we are, the most important thing is what is functioning on the insides, whether it is pristine, pure and sincere towards earning His blessings and place in Paradise in the Hereafter. So to say, we are not progressing as a society just because the designs are modernised like the As-Syafaah Mosque in Sembawang, is totally uncalled for. I suspect the comments were made by conservatives and traditionalists from the older generation. Hey, I’m a traditionalist myself, but at least I’m not that cooped up in my way of thinking.
At the carnival itself, there were game competitions like “5-a-side Football” and “Captain’s Ball” for the males and females respectively. I was kinda peeved when I saw the majority of the female contestants taking part were wearing shorts instead of track pants. Where is the respect and dignity shown at a mosque-held event??? Was there a miscommunication somewhere or wasn’t there any common sense being shown by any of the female participants who by the way look like they are in the 13-30 age group??? I’m surprised the organisers still went ahead with the competition.
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I’ve been a silent observer of Singapore Idol to date. I think after what happened tonight when Mathilda got kicked out, I guess I should start lambasting the senseless and immature voters. For me, the bottom 3 tonight were deserving of being in the top 3 of the competition. People like Joakim, Jasmine and Paul are turning out to be the Jerry Ong, Daphne Khoo and Christopher from the first season, in that they can’t sing well but still having a large fanbase to keep them alive week after week. I thought that after the first season, people would more or less wisen up and vote for those who can sing and those who can’t. But again, the stupid youngsters who voted for these 3 are ruining the competition. As it is, I won’t be surprised that those who had been voting for those with talent (read Jay & now Mathilda) would now switch camps to those who can sing (Hady, Jonathan and Nurul). Speaking of Nurul, is it just me or is she getting cuter as the weeks progress??? LOL… Did not expect her to live just across the road from me after seeing that episode where she said her favourite hangout was.
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As I had pointed out in one of my previous entries, I seem to be getting a lot of visitors to this humble abode of mine. But I am quite disappointed that many chose to just come in, read and go without leaving any comments and feedbacks for me to improve or learn from different perspectives and ideas. Cos really, my words, comments, opinions and observations are strictly my own and not the be-all and end-all. I’m sure some of you reading it will disagree on certain issues. For that, I’m encouraging you to have a healthy debate and sharing of opinions as this blog is meant for the proliferation of ideas to be shared amongst us. It would also be nice for me to know who are my visitors, no matter from where you read my thoughts across the globe. It’s ok if you choose to remain anonymous, so long as your comments are not inflammatory and vulgar. So what are you waiting for??? 
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A few more days to go and that thing is within grabs… What is it??? Watch this space!!!
Shortchanged…
Compared to last Saturday‘s display from Team Italy, I felt the team from Singapore did better in terms of variety and firing off en masse. Not to forget, the trademark whistling fireworks that appeared halfway through the show. My only complaint is the timing of the display on both days. The papers had said that each display was worth 15 minutes, but I definitely felt shortchanged when Team Italy clocked 12 minutes 18 seconds and Team Singapore 11 mins and 34 seconds (yes I took the trouble to time them). Next time, don’t say things that you can’t deliver!!!
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And so, the Malay radio stations have gone on a major revamp. I must say the changes are refreshing from what I’ve heard so far. As expected and noted in my last entry, RZ has returned to where he really belonged. My only complaint on his segment with AuraShai is the lack of listener interactions. Maybe I was hoping too much on the first day, since there were too many songs being played. But ironically, the songs being played were top-notch, straight out from the top drawer. What do you expect when you have the current and ex-music director (RZ was RIA‘s music director when he left for Warna) anchoring the show??? Without a shadow of a doubt, the playlist is of top quality. Hope the show would continue to improve as it goes along. I can only see it moving forward. Likewise the other shows.
I kinda pity Nity Baizura though. I can see that she’s working hard to keep up with Hafeez‘s energy. In time to come, hopefully that energy would rub off and make them a combustible combination just like how Azlin was with him. There is potential in that chemistry. Just that Nity must shed her shyness and have that wee bit of confidence and willing to be daring with witty punchlines. An experienced deejay and a newbie. She can definitely learn the tricks of the trade from him as time goes on. Can’t comment on the other shows as I switch to my Ipod once the Bistro segment is over at 2pm. There goes the “PM the RIA Fanatik” tag… LOL…
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Over the past year or so, I’ve seen instances where friendships have been tested amongst friends and even myself with the people around me. I’ve learnt quite a lot about what it means to be a friend. For one, no matter how much the old adage goes about “friends being there when you need them“, I just find those words overhyped and a whole lot of bollocks!!! Yes it’s true, people too have their own lives to live, and as such we shouldn’t be too demanding and expecting their presence when one really needs them. But when one needs their support at a time when one really needs them and one does not get it and it happens time and time again, one tends to reflect if it’s all worth it to be nice in a friendship. I’m sure you guys would have been in the same shoes as I did.
I hate to sound calculative as it is never a trait of what a true friendship stands for. I’ve always been there as a friend, a joker, a confidante, anything you want me to be, as sincere as much as possible, without asking for any returns in cash or kind. But I just feel as though I’m being taken for granted just because I’ve always come across as cool in the face of adversity. My smiles, my laughter, my practical jokes have all masked the pain I’ve gone through from time to time. People see me as this ultimate joker who can do no wrong nor feel any sense of sensitivity when negativity strikes. But I can’t go through this masquerade and facade any longer. It makes me feel like a damn hypocrite. Sometimes, your own self-conscience is your own best friend.
Am I too nice for my own good??? Or am I getting some payback for some of the practical jokes I’ve pulled off??? Or is it all just bad timing??? If only I have the answers. But one trait of friendship I will always hold on to is to forgive even if people did not ask for it. Cos a friendship is to accept openly one’s flaws and accept the person for what he / she is. I’ve seen friendships tight and taut being snapped and I do not wish to go that path with anyone. Perhaps we all still have a long way to go in understanding one’s feelings and respecting the other for his / her beliefs, me included…
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I had a weird dream last Sunday afternoon as I took a nap. I know many of us have different interpretations of what dreams actually mean. Some say they are just there to spice our sleep, some say they bring messages to us in reality and the most common I hear is that it is an adverse reflection to what we actually dreamt of. For instance, let’s say I dream that I am carrying a child supposed to be mine, and the child is a boy, in actual fact my child is a girl. Well I had such a dream last week prior to my wife’s ultrasound scan last Friday and as it turned out, we hope to cradle our daughter come December. The Prophet (may peace and blessings be upon him and his family, friends and kindred) himself received messages from time to time via dreams.
But that was not the weird dream I was talking about. Well I hope you guys will stifle your giggles and laughter at this dream I wanna share with you guys. It sounds surreal, comedic even and I won’t be surprised if people were to condemn me for making this up, but knowing me, would I lie to you??? This would more or less explain my MSN nick for the past few days. It actually involved the bride-to-be in the upcoming “Wedding of the Year” on 21st and 28th August 2006 and yours truly. Well here goes:
The scene was a hotel suite and I found myself entering it to find her being dolled up for a show. Out of courtesy I waited in the living room along with her minders. Not long after, someone came into the room and said the show was about to start and for her to hurry up. As her minders left the room, she was the last to leave. I took the opportunity to grab hold of her hands and told her I wanted to tell her something. She said, “What is it???” in her polite tone. I replied, “But I’m afraid if I were to tell you, you wouldn’t want to see me again.” She then said, “Ok in that case, then don’t. Just keep it to yourself.” But I said, “No, I must tell you as this is the only time I could do so.”
So I confessed and professed my feelings towards her, feelings I’ve kept inside for God knows how long. I had expected a cold response but I was surprised by the reaction. She actually cried when I was done, held my hands tighter and said, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier???” Upon hearing that, I too cried and felt a tinge of regret that it was all too late as she was getting married to that certain someone soon. I jolted from my slumber and still felt the grip on my hands for a few minutes after that. Told the wife and a few people about it and they all laughed and told me not to daydream and get carried away, seeing what a dreamer I am.
It sounds like something taken out from a novel or drama series isn’t it??? But why am I sharing you this??? Cos I wanna say that through the message I derived from the dream, I am convinced that she is happy with her current choice and that we both are happy in our respective lives with the person we love and it’s never about riches and reputations cos truth be told, she doesn’t need all that to gain a higher pedestal than where she currently is.
I think that’s what the message of the dream was all about. Tears in dreams means happiness in reality and even if I had told her my feelings in real life, it wouldn’t matter at all, just like how many quarters out there who are also in the same boat as me. Her mind’s made up, her feelings resolute and her beliefs strengthened. We should all move on and pray for the best for her, even though many out there are still seething and disappointed with her choice and the apparent veil of secrecy being kept. As for me??? I’m very happy with who I’m with right now…
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For those of you who are abreast with current affairs, I’m sure you’ve heard of this “4 Million Smiles” campaign with regards to the upcoming IMF / WB meeting next month here in Singapore. Rather than telling us to smile, I think there should be a campaign to eradicate selfishness and inconsiderate behaviour amongst Singaporeans. What’s my gripe you ask??? As a regular commuter of our efficient public transport system, it is a complete eyesore to see fellow passengers on the train not giving up their seats to those who needed them especially during peak periods.
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RZ Returning???
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I’m sure some of you in my MSN contact list would have seen my nickname for the past week or so when I announced unashamedly on the major changes to RIA Jamm this coming week. I did say an old friend was coming back to grace the air once again. Initially when I heard KC saying it on air, my hopes shot up and thought perhaps Syah Ibrahim was returning as I had expected him to. But as I listened to Warna‘s “Ding & Dong” segment last Sunday, when they said it was their last show together, I can’t help but think that the one who is making a comeback is none other than RZ.
Besides hearing persisting rumours of him returning, I think if he does, it will be a justified return cos I wasn’t pleased when he left for Warna back in 2002 (please correct me on the year if I’m wrong). Besides being one of the best deejays with his selection of songs, wacky style and always fresh with his presentation and approach, he is also one of the nicest people around even if at times, his words and honesty can draw one’s blood. I know cos he was one of my mentors when I did my internship at radio back in 1998. If he really does return, I wouldn’t mind swopping back to listening to RIA from Class 95. However deep down, I still hold on to this slim hope of having Syah back…
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Been scouring through the cyberspace and I stumbled upon an online petition against Siti Nurhaliza‘s marriage to Datuk Khalid. I was wondering, is it really worth it to create such a thing??? No matter how many thousands or millions who are willing to sign it, the girl has set her heart, mind and soul on it. There’s no turning back, it’s full steam ahead. It’s just something which I regard as useless even if I too would like to sign it myself. It’s absolutely pointless, simple as that…
Some of you have asked whether I’ll be going to the wedding event of the year. If going means having to camp outside KLCC to get the best spots, braving under the hot sun or rain depending on the weather and missing my obligatory responsibilities to HIM just to see the horse-drawn carriage for a few seconds, then all I can say is thank you very much but no thanks. I just don’t understand how one can stand doing something like that without getting any substantial returns. This is also one of the reasons why I get turned off from joining competitions like Singapore Idol, Anugerah etc. I’d rather receive an invitation card. At least, I wouldn’t have to go through all the hassle and jostling with the thousands who are expected to throng the KLCC vicinity. Good luck to the workers there!!!
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Quite a few had also expected me to attend the event I promoted in my last entry which was the launch of Hafeez Glamour‘s Book Club. Besides having weddings to attend that day, I was also not in favour of the time as it coincided with my weekly dosage of street soccer activity with my neighbourhood friends. Those who know me, know damn well how much I put football above anything else, bar any unwanted emergencies. Coupled with the fact that finances for the month were running low (there’s a reason for that which I hope to share in the weeks to come) and controlling my diet (I’ve started my fitness regime again after a 7 months layoff that resulted in me ballooning up 10kg since the wedding), it was something I had to let go even if deep down I regretted not being there to support an old friend.
I was slated to be one of the judges for the Karaoke Idol contest had I attended the event. On hindsight, perhaps it was a blessing in disguise that I wasn’t in attendance as I would have earned the ire of the audience with my straightforward and honest comments, a sizeable percentage coming from those who have always been on my back and finding ways to get back at me. They know damn well who they are if they are reading this. But there’s been peace on the airwaves for the past few months and I intend to keep it that way, provided no one starts off again.
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Speaking of weddings, I’ve been getting lots of invitations to attend them since I got married. I’m always in a dilemma whenever a friend, most of the time not a close one, invites me to his / her relative’s wedding. More often than not, I do not know the newly-weds, what more the family. Most of the time I end up not going as I do not feel comfortable being in uncharted territory. I wouldn’t mind going if the friend’s son or daughter got married or if the friend is someone I regard as somebody close.
Especially if the invitation was sent via sms, you can bet I’ll end up not going as I feel that it’s kinda insincere and not fair to the organisers who had paid for the food to be served to a certain number amount of heads slated to come. What if there was an influx of guests and the food runs out??? Wouldn’t that bring shame to the organisers??? I’ve seen and heard of such things happening before. Sometimes I end up getting as many as 5-6 invitations in a day, of which I had to weigh the importance and the factors that make me have to do away with some of them. Distance can also be another factor. Maybe it’s because I do not have a car at the moment, so to zip around the island from one invitation to another is a hassle, what with the wife in her current state.
I’m sure some of you too end up in the same predicament as I do. Sometimes even the people you are close to, you end up not answering to their invitation. But I’m not that heartless. Whoever I am close to, I always make it a point to attend the events they have invited me for. For those who are not, I have to see what are the factors that could sway me into going and staying put at home or make other plans.
Hope it’s not too late to congratulate one of our famous bloggers, sis Mahdrina on getting betrothed to her husband Rusdiman Salhan last weekend. The wedding was a simple yet elegant affair, perhaps spoilt only by the weather. But on the contrary, rain is a sign of sustenance so we can all hope that the union would bring them loads of it in times to come, God willing. The bride was gorgeous and the husband was equally ravishing, well I gotta admit he looks a hundred times better than Oliver Kahn or the German football team put together. Hahahah, it’s one of the jokes I like to pull on sis Mahd who is crazy about the German football team. Good luck to them on their journey ahead and welcome to the marriage club!!!
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The annual Fireworks Festival is back!!! You can be sure this sucker for fireworks will be there diligently from tonight till next Saturday night to enjoy the pyrotechnics in store for 4 nights, just like last year. Old habits die hard I tell you…
Right, that’s all for now… Am running out of things to say. Till then, have a great weekend and week ahead!!!
Happy National Day people!!!
