Sad State of Community…

I’m sure most of us are still reeling from the death of the little toddler, Nonoi, which has received nothing but extensive coverage by the media and daily prints. Though we do not know her, I guess we all feel the pain, moreso if you have a child, younger sister / brother or having nephews and nieces around that age. I don’t understand how a child that age, still in their cute and cuddly element, could be treated so badly. Even an animal knows how to treat its young properly with tender loving care. Nonoi is of the same age as Aida’s niece, Nurin Diyanah, and she happens to be the apple of my eye. All week I have been thinking, if the same thing were to happen to her, I think I’ll be going ballistics…

I dunno whether to be sad or angry at the whole thing. A Berita Harian reader pointed out today in the Forum page that the incident only highlighted the effects of marrying at a young age, whether they are qualified to be parents or not. But when I think again, so did our parents, some were even married when they were 16-17 years old, yet they still brought us up well. To me, the case not only highlighted the effects brought up by the reader, but also highlighted the dysfunctionalities of the parties involved. I don’t have to spell every detail and flaw cos I believe you guys would have read it all and seen the pictures to know what I meant by “dysfunctionalities”. So what could be the root of the problem???

For those who have attended the marriage preparatory courses, I’m sure you would have been reminded that once you have the basic necessary religious knowledge, it would serve you well in building a family. To me, that is just part of it. You need to be mentally prepared, even if you take away religion, you should at least be humane and sensible enough to treat your partners and kids properly, with love and respect. The person I have pity on the most, is definitely Nonoi’s biological father. Cos not only did he lose a wife through a 3rd party but that 3rd party ended up killing his daughter. Yet he is still so forgiving though I can only imagine how he feels deep down inside. This man deserves my utmost respect and sympathy for weathering this storm in his life with quiet nonchalance.

The incident has thrown up many questions on myself. Could I be a good father to my kids??? Would I ill-treat them when they go out of line??? Cos nowadays the rod is no longer useful, not like when we were young. How should punishment be meted out to discipline our kids??? We cannot be too harsh on them, neither should we be too lenient. One thing I’ve learnt from observations is that kids expect to be treated the same, be it in punishment or in rewards. Not to mention love. The fact that you can have pious parents and wayward kids is a scary thought that is bothering me and wish I would never fall in that trap. It’s true what people say, making babies is easy, but the responsibility that comes with it is gargantuan. I hope that each and everyone of us have learnt something from this fiasco as I feel extremely embarrassed at the state of a minority in our community.

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I’m left dumbfounded by the constant questions about my wife’s current status, that is, whether we’re expecting a bundle of joy anytime soon. It’s like a standard question everywhere we go which I’m sure most of you went through or are currently experiencing right now, like when we were in courtship, people were asking when were we tying the knot or when were we getting engaged. Now that we’re married, people expect my wife’s tummy to have someone in it. At times it bemused me and sometimes it riled me up when they caught me in a bad mood, though I dunno where I found the patience and courtesy to just smile and say wait until our honeymoon is over. It’s kinda funny to me, that people expect something to happen 2-3 months after one gets married. I know everyone meant well when they asked me the same thing and I appreciate the concern, just that I’m beginning to sound like a broken record or a replayed tape.

Yes people, we have still not gone for our honeymoon yet due to work commitments on both sides. Hell, we don’t even have time to go for our customary visiting of relatives right after the wedding. To tell you honestly, we still dunno when we are going for the honeymoon. And we’re planning it to happen after we’ve gone, so it would be meaningful and blessed. I hope my explaination would be enough to end the constant queries. If it happens, it happens. As we all know, God knows best when it comes to bringing a new life into this world so we just let nature takes it course…