Domicile of Da' KRUsader's Mind Crafts…

Sad State of Community…


I’m sure most of us are still reeling from the death of the little toddler, Nonoi, which has received nothing but extensive coverage by the media and daily prints. Though we do not know her, I guess we all feel the pain, moreso if you have a child, younger sister / brother or having nephews and nieces around that age. I don’t understand how a child that age, still in their cute and cuddly element, could be treated so badly. Even an animal knows how to treat its young properly with tender loving care. Nonoi is of the same age as Aida’s niece, Nurin Diyanah, and she happens to be the apple of my eye. All week I have been thinking, if the same thing were to happen to her, I think I’ll be going ballistics…

I dunno whether to be sad or angry at the whole thing. A Berita Harian reader pointed out today in the Forum page that the incident only highlighted the effects of marrying at a young age, whether they are qualified to be parents or not. But when I think again, so did our parents, some were even married when they were 16-17 years old, yet they still brought us up well. To me, the case not only highlighted the effects brought up by the reader, but also highlighted the dysfunctionalities of the parties involved. I don’t have to spell every detail and flaw cos I believe you guys would have read it all and seen the pictures to know what I meant by “dysfunctionalities”. So what could be the root of the problem???

For those who have attended the marriage preparatory courses, I’m sure you would have been reminded that once you have the basic necessary religious knowledge, it would serve you well in building a family. To me, that is just part of it. You need to be mentally prepared, even if you take away religion, you should at least be humane and sensible enough to treat your partners and kids properly, with love and respect. The person I have pity on the most, is definitely Nonoi’s biological father. Cos not only did he lose a wife through a 3rd party but that 3rd party ended up killing his daughter. Yet he is still so forgiving though I can only imagine how he feels deep down inside. This man deserves my utmost respect and sympathy for weathering this storm in his life with quiet nonchalance.

The incident has thrown up many questions on myself. Could I be a good father to my kids??? Would I ill-treat them when they go out of line??? Cos nowadays the rod is no longer useful, not like when we were young. How should punishment be meted out to discipline our kids??? We cannot be too harsh on them, neither should we be too lenient. One thing I’ve learnt from observations is that kids expect to be treated the same, be it in punishment or in rewards. Not to mention love. The fact that you can have pious parents and wayward kids is a scary thought that is bothering me and wish I would never fall in that trap. It’s true what people say, making babies is easy, but the responsibility that comes with it is gargantuan. I hope that each and everyone of us have learnt something from this fiasco as I feel extremely embarrassed at the state of a minority in our community.

***************************************************

I’m left dumbfounded by the constant questions about my wife’s current status, that is, whether we’re expecting a bundle of joy anytime soon. It’s like a standard question everywhere we go which I’m sure most of you went through or are currently experiencing right now, like when we were in courtship, people were asking when were we tying the knot or when were we getting engaged. Now that we’re married, people expect my wife’s tummy to have someone in it. At times it bemused me and sometimes it riled me up when they caught me in a bad mood, though I dunno where I found the patience and courtesy to just smile and say wait until our honeymoon is over. It’s kinda funny to me, that people expect something to happen 2-3 months after one gets married. I know everyone meant well when they asked me the same thing and I appreciate the concern, just that I’m beginning to sound like a broken record or a replayed tape.

Yes people, we have still not gone for our honeymoon yet due to work commitments on both sides. Hell, we don’t even have time to go for our customary visiting of relatives right after the wedding. To tell you honestly, we still dunno when we are going for the honeymoon. And we’re planning it to happen after we’ve gone, so it would be meaningful and blessed. I hope my explaination would be enough to end the constant queries. If it happens, it happens. As we all know, God knows best when it comes to bringing a new life into this world so we just let nature takes it course…

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14 responses

  1. heueraugmentin

    Well you can’t stop people from talking… I guess it’s just a standard question people ask when they stumble upon a newly married couple… I wonder if it is a template…

    Be cool about it. I’m sorry if I sound like a preacher coz I know I’m not even married…

    Cool ok! Chileks…

    Wednesday, 8 March 2006 at 21:55

  2. Silent Mode

    hello! mak cowww punyer susah nak komenn..i tink ur pix were too big arrr. abih macam ada error and etc etc. k nvm.hahhaha!

    me ada baca kat forum tu.. me pun heran apa kene mengena nonoi and kisah kawin muda. tah haper haper tah..tk paham mak kan.

    ya betol cakap org atas tu,.. normal la org tanya dah ada isi ke lom kat perut. takkan kita semua nak tanya “eh amcam. dah ‘buat’ ke belom? how’s ur sex life? satu hari main brapa round?” hahhaha! melampau tu nyahhh. KIDDIN OK. hahhaa!

    ok laaa.. me percaya both of u bole jadi parents yg baik. ok goo.

    Thursday, 9 March 2006 at 00:51

  3. kak sk

    can u stop ppls from talking definitely NO kan..ishkk takpe dorang bertanya cos dorang nak tau, ingin tau saje saje nak tanye or memang kepo….ermmm so ia kan je lah…thats y i never ask related family or even my adek bradek pun pasal kawin pasal anak or benda yg sewaktu dgn nya cos i know sometime benda ni sentive betul tak? main peranan ada mata tengok and ada mulut diam..agak2 merepek tak?? hehe…

    Yea simpati dgn keluarga si mati yang meninggal memang dah ajal boleh dielak tapi nasib tidak menyebelahi beliau budak tanpa dosa inshaAllah di syurga…simpati tengok keadaan ibu beliau yg bertatoo inshaAllah di yaumul qiamah adik nonoi boleh membantu ibu beliau..Ameen.

    Thursday, 9 March 2006 at 12:35

  4. LadyLee

    well, i’m in the same position as you. even though i know they meant well but it is VERY stressful and they don’t know how we feel. When asked too often while you’re trying, it really affects the whole thing. Broken record? ya, tell me about it. I sound like one too. anyway, bro, just like kak sk say, iyakan aje.

    Thursday, 9 March 2006 at 15:58

  5. BuNGaLiLi

    Adat ler manusia suka cakap or ask yg mcm2…Just ignore them…
    Yg penting, u know what you are doing…Furthermore it is yor life, not theirs…

    Friday, 10 March 2006 at 08:32

  6. Lisa Lish

    i’m definitely wearing your shoes – as in bein busy, no time for honeymoon and bein asked about when im gonna have a baby and so no and so forth. Its a nice read.

    Friday, 10 March 2006 at 10:10

  7. Aridewa

    If people ask about ur ‘bundle of joy’ status, just answer in your darth vader voice and say,”I can feel it…….”

    “I can feel it coming……”

    “Yessssssss!!!”

    Saturday, 11 March 2006 at 07:42

  8. Amby_OFFsPrinG

    alahai biasalah orang2…just trynna make small talks…take it slow and easy…insya allah, the “bundle of joy” will come at the right moment….

    d;D

    Saturday, 11 March 2006 at 12:51

  9. Hus

    I totally agree with u tat Nonoi’s incident has nothing to do with marrying at an early age. Alah kalau kawin dah tua bangka tapi pegangan ugama tak kuat….hanyut jugak tat marriage! It certainly lies in the individual…

    As for the makcik2 soalan cepumas, juz ignore. At most jawab jer:”Doakanlah ya!” Haha, tat’s wat I did when ppl ask me. Mulut org ni kekadang mcm 7-11. Tak tahu tutup langsung. They may mean well lah but sometimes their good intentions may hurt the feelings of others.

    Niway…have a great week ahead yah!

    Sunday, 12 March 2006 at 17:53

  10. Jijah

    Brudder

    I can feel the pinch when pple keep asking ‘bile eh’..coz it happened to my dear sister.Well, tak cukup tanya punya diri, almost all in the family kena tanya.stess kadang!

    Abt Nonoi, guess i can just condemn her stepfather’s vicious act.Tak terdaya nak benci dia plak.Kita ni takde ape nak hukum dia kan?Allah maha BERKUASA, let HIM deal wif this man if he’s really guilty..

    have a lovely Monday…

    Monday, 13 March 2006 at 10:27

  11. FloatingLilac

    Those neverending questions.

    I can relate to them definitely, bro.

    Sebelum kawin, dorang tanya bila nak kawin.

    Lepas kawin, dorang tanya da ada ke belum.

    Bila da ada anak, dorang tanya, bila nak the second baby.

    And the list goes on..

    Cett.

    Tuesday, 14 March 2006 at 09:19

  12. Kak Lis

    Oklah, aku tak tanya lagi lah pasal tu. *merajok one corner, jeling kat PM, pas tu main batu serembat*
    Terasa sungguh aku. hng!

    kalau dah rezeki, akan datang jugak. memang betol, buat anak senang je, tapi sanggup tak, mampu tak dan bersedia ke kita nak didik anak seorang? Insya allah, niat yang murni akan senantiasa diiringi rahmat Allah. Believe in that.

    P.S : Kalau nak pi honeymoon, bawak aku sekali lah. Aku leh jadi lamppost menerangi kegelapan di waktu malam dan gelap. ;P

    Wednesday, 15 March 2006 at 01:21

  13. Red Herring

    There’s a list of answers which you can use to silence those questions, all of which borders on insolence or downright biadab-ness 😉

    As a fellow-married person, I can relate to that (as it is my womb in question) and usually the best answer is to smile and say ‘Belum ada rezki’, even if what you really mean to say is ‘Bugger off, ok?’

    Just be a little patient and not let it get to you. Heh. Good luck.

    Wednesday, 15 March 2006 at 12:14

  14. Lady_A

    When baru kawin, ppl kept asking when wife nak preggie. When dah preggie,give birth then preggie again..they will say, terok nye. tak sabar-sabar nak anak. dasyat eh mulut org ni.

    haiz..kalau anak setahun satu, pun salah ke?
    *mengadu nasib ku*

    Thursday, 16 March 2006 at 17:18

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