To Salam Or Not To Salam…???
Listening to Fiza O‘s “Girlfriend” segment today, I can’t help but feel intrigued at how the mind of the fairer gender works. For those who did not get to listen, well the question went like this, “Would you salam (shake the hands) of your boyfriend’s ex if you were to bump into each other???” Quite a number of ladies who responded said they would prefer to avoid and walk away, rather than smile, shake hands and make small talk. Some even went as far as to say they would gloat over the other for being the better woman. Extremely gracious indeed!!!
I don’t like to stereotype, but most ladies I know have this begrudging trait to the point that they do not want to have anything to do with their boyfriend’s ex, neither do they allow them to be in contact, even though it’s within a friendship basis. Actually that’s besides the main point I wanna talk about. I notice that it is also quite difficult for ladies who do not know each other personally to shake the hands of the other when they bump into each other like for example in a working environment and being in different sections or departments. Or in different schools of a particular institution. Sometimes just to get a smile out of them can be quite difficult. Some even eye the other with looks that could kill.
Not guys though. I notice that guys are quite receptive to shaking each others’ hands and make small talk even if they don’t know each other personally or if it’s meeting their girlfriend’s ex (unless he was abusive to her that is). Maybe it’s because we’re so used to it since we have been doing it every Friday at the mosque, shaking the hands of fellow congregators. But yeah I still find it odd for ladies to have this wary trait even towards their own kind. Take it this way, in the case of the scenario that Fiza had put forth, they are already the better woman and their respective men only have the hots for them. So why the grudge??? I don’t think their men would want their ex-es back, even if a wee bit of feelings would somehow return, do they???
I might be a little shallow in this respect since I’ve been a one-woman man and likewise my wife. So we do not have this opportunity to ever be in this scenario. But I would love to hear from a woman’s point of view so I can understand how their mind works, especially with regards to meeting their own gender, whether they happen to be their boyfriend’s ex or someone working in the same building or someone from the same institution.