Being Impartial…


In life, one is always caught in between two warring factions. Just name it, at work, in school, at home, heck, even in the cyberworld. More often than not, you’ll feel bad whenever you’re in the midst of both factions whom you’re on good terms with. At times and in private, Faction A will tell you of their problems with Faction B and vice versa. It is so difficult sometimes to weigh the good and the bad of both sides cos each have their own flaws and mistakes, not to mention the inflated egos. Sometimes you wish as though you want to leave everything behind and let them be in their own worlds. But their worlds somehow coincide with our own. And we have to live and let live and continue to live as per normal as we should, to coexist and look beyond other people’s problems.

I’ve always been very impartial whenever I’m caught in between people who’re having fisticuffs. I’ve seen with my own eyes how friends, family members, colleagues and people in the cyberworld having a massive scale war that people connected to them are bound to take sides. I’ve seen how bloggers are at odds with one another. What was the cause??? I don’t want to know, but the amount of vitriol and abuse they and their fellow supporters exchange can make you blush or seethe depending on how immersed you are with the tete-a-tete. Me??? I’ve been quietly reading and flushing the negativities away from my head, preferring to think of the individuals in a more positive light and why I befriended them in the first place. When one side is clearly in the wrong, I wouldn’t hesitate to tell him or her off, in private unless circumstances calls for an alternative action, to remind that with every pointing finger, three others are pointed right back at them. But it ends there. I don’t add on by inducing an “I-don’t-friend-you” mentality. That’s extremely childish, especially at my age and with my current standing as a father of two.

I’m someone who treasures friendships but I also keep my enemies closer to me, cos these are the best people to keep your feet on the ground. When two warring factions collide, the ones taking sides are sometimes the ones overdoing the retaliation. I’ve been in that situation before, countless times I might add, and I thought at what expense??? The same people I defended turned out to be the ones who took me for granted. So I tell myself from then on, I’m not taking sides whenever I’m caught in the middle. I would rather be nice to people at both ends and in my own way, I try to help bridge the gap wherever possible, whether people appreciate it or not, whether I’m being open to the occasional backstabbing or not.

Yes I might rant and complain when one party does something to my chagrin, but that is not enough for me to avoid them altogether, certainly not to make enemies out of them. I wasn’t brought up to have so much angst and hatred on someone even if he or she have done something gravely wrong to me. Time normally makes me forgive that person and treat them as cordial as I can like before. If even the Prophet (peace be upon him) can forgive someone like Hendon (go read up on history if you dunno this piece of story), then we should be ashamed of ourselves if we cannot render forgiveness on others. Ok don’t come telling me a prophet is different than us, he is exalted, chosen blah blah blah. The fact remains, he was also a human being like us, just like all the others before him. And we can emulate a bit of his good character and instil it in us, whether we want it or not, whether we’re willing to puncture our egos or not. Anyway what happens between two warring parties I know is not my concern and certainly not a war I am willing to get caught in between.

I’m not turning holier-than-thou all of a sudden but this is something I’ve had in me all along, which some people find it difficult to appreciate and accept. Life is too short to bear grudges for too long, life is even longer to keep on being consumed by one’s ego. Perhaps that is why I sometimes come across as being a hypocrite to people who see me as a two-headed snake when I’m being nice to both warring parties. Up to you to label me what you think is appropriate and right, but even after all the crap you’ve dished on me, I still regard you as a friend, a family member, a relative, a colleague, an acquaintance, an online mate, whatever. Maybe being forgiving to people who have done me so much wrong is a weakness in itself altogether or is it because I’m too nice a person??? Either way, I don’t owe anyone other than my own family, a living…

P.S. This entry is not aimed at any particular individual or group, bearing in mind all the personal wars people might be having out there. It is a culmination of experiences, observations and reflections made throughout the course of my lifetime and if there are any similarities or anyone taking offence, I apologise for the incoherent collateral damage.



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