Hazards of Blogging…

I still need to slap myself a few times sometimes when I look at my blog statistics for the past three days and see that the visitorship had jumped from five-fold to eleven-fold its regular number of daily hits. I really did not expect that entry I did on Tuesday to gain so much attention and curiosity from people out there. I guess it clearly shows that when it comes to the topic of the supernatural world, it becomes a sort of phenomenon that our inquisitive minds would love to have a peek, hear or listen about the unseen and the mystery. So long as curiosity does not kill the cat, then perhaps there’s no harm in immersing one’s self into it, but please if you wanna do so, do it with extreme caution.

Thank you yet again to you people out there who have entered this domain of mine just to take a look at the photograph I took the other night and of course to those who regularly drop by from time to time. Remember, it is not concrete that the circled “being” in the photograph was really “her”. It could be something else, especially if you were to go there in the day to have a clearer view of the place. But of course when it’s a mystery how come it appeared just like that when you did not physically see it then, you can’t help thinking whether you had hit the jackpot or not. It’s still a hypothesis to me and whatever your guess is to that “thing” or “being”, it is as good as mine.


I think for those who have been blogging for about five years or more, you’d come to study the traits of fellow bloggers just by reading their entries. You’ll know how happy, angry or sad they are just by the emotions they exude. But the blogging world is sometimes not a good gauge of one’s personal character, no matter how much you think that whatever that is being written is the holy truth. For one, sometimes the entries can be a bit exaggerated. One’s words or emotions can sometimes be misconstrued in a negative light. And of course, there will be the ones with low self-esteem who use the blogging world as a facade to cover up their own insecurities.

I’ve had my fair share of detractors in the blogging world – those that do not agree with my views, those that think that I’m a hypocrite just because I have my own set of principles that do not match theirs, those that think that just because I have friends in the entertainment scene means I’m quite the pompous, arrogant bastard and the list goes on. I am not the kind to retaliate on a confrontational basis to these kind of people. They can make their own personal judgements based on how they perceived my words and actions. The fact remains, only my circle of friends and family members know who and what the real me is like. I can go on and on defending myself in my entries against these numbskulls but more often than not, I’ve regarded them as nothing more than a chicken’s anus.

Then there are those that form vicious judgments about you and spread lies to their own cliques. Yes, the blogging world is filled with cliques. One group will tend to think they’re more glamourous than the other. Another will think they’re more politically correct than the other. I have been to a function organised by one of my fellow bloggers before whereby one of the guests, also a blogger, had asked the host as to why certain people were invited. Like hello, where’s the respect towards the host??? It is one’s prerogative to invite who they think should be invited and not these particular outsiders to dictate who should and should not come. I’m just glad that all these while, I’ve been a one man army. Whoever I make friends with in the blogging world, I do so without prejudice, even if that person comes with extra baggages and warnings about their respective characters.

Another case in point, word has it that I’m quite arrogant just because I have friends in the entertainment scene. In the process, when others see me during functions, have always had a queer and weird look at me, and avoid being near me like as though I was the plague. It is funny and even more amusing to learn that our dear storyteller have not even met me in person nor bothered to get to know me personally to be spreading these untruths. I do make friends with many others outside the entertainment and media industry, just that when it comes to making friends on the Net, I have my own set of criterias which I’ve set upon myself, knowing the scourge and the filth that the Net brings with it. Our dear rumour-monger is a living example of such scourge and filth.

Anyway, there is nothing special nor something to be proud about to be in association with famous personalities. I still see them as normal human beings and I’m sure off screen and off stage, they are just like you and me who lead normal lives and wanting their own privacies. I’ve been fortunate to have gotten to know them through what I do, which is giving my honest opinions on the scene in this domain of mine. Some I’ve known even before they became a somebody and there’s quite a few of them I can list down, which of course I don’t see the need to. The fact is, I am not guaranteed to enter Paradise just because I know famous personalities. So what do you gain out of doing this???

I just hope that for you people out there who blog and bitch, please do so with a bit of personal moral responsibility. It is one thing to bitch about the person you know on a personal basis, not that I condone this action anyway. But it kinda makes you look extremely stupid, sick and demented when you go round spreading untruths on people you have not even get to know personally nor met them before. And for that, I really pity people like you for having a sad and insecure life…

Misteri Jam 12 Outing…

I’m simply blown away by the five-fold jump I received in my blog statistics last night after I had published the previous entry and KC had talked about it on air during his Misteri Jam 12 programme. I think the last time my blog stats surpassed 1000 unique hits was after Norfasarie‘s wedding, which was like more than six months ago. At the time of typing this, the number has since surpassed last night’s hits and who knows I might even hit the 2k barrier once the night is over.


Zan Sofiyan with the opening speech and short recital of prayers before embarking on the tour.

Thank you to all who have taken the time to come into my humble abode just to see that “sensational” photograph I took the other night. It goes to show how popular this Misteri Jam 12 programme is to listeners and also for those who have an interest in anything related to the supernatural. But before I move on, let me just say that this blog of mine is still an entertainment-slanted blog rather than a supernatural one. So for those who anticipate more of such photographs or stories to be shared, I have to disappoint you and say that it all depends on my “luck” in being at the right place, at the right time again. And thank you again to KC for sharing the photographs with the listeners. Long may you continue to succeed being the host of the programme.


KC relating his own experiences…

Ok so now on to the outing. This outing which was held on the night of 26 January 2009 between 10:30pm to 3:00am the following day, was not organised by Pusat Rawatan Darul ‘Ilaaj as I had mentioned in the previous entry and was corrected by one of the visitors of this blog. It’s still a mystery to me as to who were the actual organisers but it was hosted by KC and ably assisted by Warna 94.2FM‘s Zan Sofiyan and Encik Kadir, one of the programme’s avid followers who is quite skilled in treating people through traditional and religious means. Pusat Rawatan Darul ‘Ilaaj was only the place to go to to make payment for the outing, sort of like the go-between party.


This shot was taken before our grand old lady decided to make her appearance in the previous entry…

This was an educational trip, rather than a ghost hunting trip. I think the rightful intentions of going on such a trip could not have been stressed upon and drummed into our heads more than ever, even before we had embarked on it and printed on the programme guide we received when we made the payment. It was also stressed upon as a reminder the moment we boarded the bus that would take us all to the places that we were supposed to go to that night. I was instantly reminded of all those outings I had gone to when my SFOGS.com team organised them all those years ago. It is extremely important to go with the right intentions and not wished upon seeing the unseen as what a lot of people love to do. These “things” can somehow sense our intentions and would set about on disturbing us if we’re not careful. I was just fortunate that I was in the right company of people who were willing to share their experiences and the things to do and not to do to avoid being disturbed by all unseen forces around us.


This abandoned housing estate needs no introduction…

One of the most important aspects I learnt during the trip was the kind of knowledge that we set upon learning, especially with regards to the unseen and religion. Yes certain things we learn might have Arabic characters and words you normally hear from the holy book, but it is best that we learn the actual meanings as well so that it would not turn detrimental against us in future. Cos too many people have received and learnt blindly and regretted later on. It’s difficult for me to explain in detail but I hope you know what I mean. Another interesting thing I learnt that night was how we could gauge the direction of Kiblat just by looking at the stars in the sky.


Queueing up for our refreshments…

If you were to look up into the night sky, you would be able to see three stars (known as Orion’s Belt) aligning in a straight line and a further distance away, there would be the brightest star in the sky known as the Sirius. So when you join these stars together, you would get your direction of Kiblat. This was especially useful during the ancient times and if you’re travelling at night without a compass. Such knowledge made me feel so small when I think about the wonders of God‘s creation. HE had created all these things for us to learn and be thankful to HIM and there are so many more things that HE had created in this world for us to appreciate. I am nothing but a speck of dust in HIS eyes.


No prizes for guessing where this is…

There are so many other things that I learnt that night about the supernatural world and how the olden people had mixed tradition with religion and this was an absolute no-no. One that stood out was the fact that some of us, in our haste to relieve ourselves in the open, we would say, “Tumpang datuk nenek, cucu tumpang kencing“, instead of the mandatory “‘A’udzubillahi minassyaithanirrajim“. Since the beginning of time when Adam was created, the djinns had already promised to bring upon the downfall of mankind and drag them into the gates of Hell and they would never prostrate out of respect as we’re only made from Earth and them from Fire. By saying that mantra of yore, we’re actually referring ourselves as part of their family of Hell-dwellers and this is definitely wrong. So for those of you who know of people who still do these kind of things, it’s time we return back to the rightful path. I am merely sharing what I know and it would not hurt if you would share it with people you know as well.


The team behind the success of this outing…

That night we visited about four places and passed by another four, which I will not go into much detail, but nonetheless was a good package for a four hour trip. There was also a short break in between for us to consume some refreshments. I thought the trip as a whole was a throwback to my days as a member of SFOGS.com, with added knowledge from our Islamic point of view. I learnt quite a lot in just one night alone and hope that I would learn more when these kind of trips are being organised again. And I would for sure share what I have learnt with you as knowledge is meant to be shared by one and all for the betterment of our community.


A group photo before we all made our respective way home…

Misteri Jam 12 Sighting!!!

Last night I went for a Misteri Jam 12 outing organised by Pusat Rawatan Darul ‘Ilaaj and we went to several places said to be strong with supernatural activity. Actually I wanted to post this entry along with a slight review of the trip. But due to popular demand when KC talked about this on air just awhile ago, I decided to just post this mysterious photo I took last night when we were at our first destination at Jalan Bahtera.


Take a look at this photograph above. It seems very harmless isn’t it??? I thought that way too but when I enhanced the lighting of the photograph to see more of the vegetation, the following was what I saw:


From a distance I can barely make out the shape of a lady who is carrying what appears to be a baby!!! No wonder this place is said to be haunted by the well known sister in white we love to refer to as “Kakak Cantik“, “Fatimah Rocker” etc. But is it true that it is really her??? Wallahu’alam bissawab…

I’m Getting Old…

I’m at home now, down with flu and enjoying a day’s MC given by my kind doctor. Actually this flu could have been avoided had I rested my body amply, i.e. having enough sleep required. Ever since the turn of the new year, I’ve been religiously going to the gym and playing football on an almost daily basis. I’ve even incorporated swimming as part of my regime but that’s not as regular as the other two activities.

Looking at my age now and what I used to be a decade ago, in the past I could play football for hours under the hot sun and still have energy to go swimming afterwards or vice-versa. Little wonder that I was at my fittest state back then. It doesn’t help that I’ve grown a hefty 20kg over the past 10 years and am still acclimitising to getting back into the groove of working out. The mind is forever willing but then I realised that the flesh has gone weak due to age. But I believe this is a slight reaction that the body is slowly changing to get in tune with what I’m doing daily.

The past year have seen me work out in sporadic patterns and basically I had no discipline in maintaining whatever momentum I was on. Even the food intake that I was taking in, was extremely sinful to say the least. At least this year, I have managed to cut down my rice intake during dinner time and thankfully I’ve lost about 2kg or so.

I think at my age, I need to rest more as the muscle tissues take some time to recover after a workout. But it can sometimes be difficult when you need to balance work and looking after the kids once dusk sets in. I’m loving the past 20 days of my working out and I hope I can be equally disciplined for the next 344 days of 2009 and achieve my target of at least reaching the weight I once was during my wedding day. Anything more would be an absolute bonus…

Hyrul Anuar’s Single Promo…

Earlier today, I brought my family to the Singapore Expo Hall 6 to attend the promotion of Hyrul Anuar‘s long-awaited single album. Ok, it’s not exactly a full album like Didicazli‘s that was released a few weeks ago, but nonetheless it is still welcomed by many in the industry having seen him reached greater heights in his night of glory back in 2005, and subsequently his quest to paint more colours in our small local music industry. 


It’s been a long time, too long a time for someone like Hyrul Anuar to release this long-anticipated album, no thanks to his national service commitments. Looking at his plight as well as previous Anugerah winners before him, you would think that people like Aliff Aziz should count their lucky stars that there are better avenues now to spread their wings and strike while the iron is still hot.


It is a good thing that his presence all these while has not been forgotten, what with all the new and upcoming stars waiting by the sidelines to announce their presence in the music industry. I’m just happy for this young man that his patience and faith has been rewarded by the release of this album. I feel that it’s ok and never wrong if it’s not a full album. Even a single or an EP would suffice just to test the market as well as to prove that he has not disappeared.


Up and coming stars should release singles the moment they win / get booted out from a competition. By then people would have sat up and taken notice of their respective pedigrees. Above all, it would be a statement of intent that they were in the competition seriously and not for fun. God knows how many times I’ve heard contestants saying they only entered them “for fun“. If it’s just for fun, then please don’t waste your time cos it does not show your sincerity towards the people you are performing to.


The event itself was a very simple affair. I think it was just about 15-20 minutes long, with Hyrul singing 3 songs – “Pertama“, “Asal Kau Bahagia” and “Tanda Kasih“. In between, he took great pains to thank his management team, the people who have worked hard behind the scenes for his album as well as the members of his Hyrulites fan club. He also shared with the audience how he was inspired to pen the latter song.

To Hyrul, congratulations once again for the release of this single album. Hopefully 2009 will see your stars finally shine brightly on you and may you achieve all the success you have patiently been waiting and working for…


P.S. On a side note, I was just amazed at the number of familiar people I met at the exhibition hall just now, especially those I’ve not met in a long, long while. I’m thankful that God had chose this day for a reunion of sorts with some of my ex-poly mates and those who had worked hard to make our wedding a resounding success… Oh and from a distance, we also saw a celebrity couple that is due to walk down the aisle in less than a fortnight. May their union be blessed by Allah Almighty and be much better than their previous experiences… 

Take That Rafa!!!

In light of Rafael Benitez‘s untimely comments towards Sir Alex Ferguson last Friday, the image below is the perfect response any United fans can aim back at the fat Spanish waiter. My apologies if this comes as an insolence and provocation to non-United fans reading this. I can’t help it really. No, I’m not getting carried away by the scoreline last Sunday cos the season is still four months away to the end. But I’m sure it was double happiness for my fellow United fans to shove that result down Rafa‘s throat and the perfect guy who hates Liverpool to the core doing the honours!!! We’re coming after you dude!!!


The Problem With Assuming…

It’s been awhile, a long long while since I last had problems with any of my fellow RIA listeners. For those of you who have been following my blog since it was hosted by Blogger, you would recall how my first two years of blogging were filled with entries of angst and counter-attacks towards the hypocrisy of my fellow listeners, that is, being nice in front of me but using the sms medium to shoot back at me with cowardice and fictitious nicks. Ever since I made peace with several individuals and chose to ignore several more who I deemed non-substantial in my life, I’ve enjoyed considerable amount of peace on the airwaves for almost two years now. But the peace was broken this past Thursday morning when someone tried to upset the applecart.

The morning show on Thursday had a discussion topic on whether the latest news on most people’s favourite Datin Sri was true or just an0ther rumour / gossip that just wouldn’t go away. Yours truly called in and gave my views, in that I deemed it as just another rumour and possible news to spice up the release of her latest album “Lentera Timur“. And when asked what were my personal thoughts if those rumours were true, I couldn’t resist but joked that if I was still single, I would be waiting, but of course I added on and said that being married now to a lovely wife, all I can do is to pray for her happiness.

Not long after that came a reply from someone by the nick “gebu“. In his or her retort and this I copied and pasted from RIA‘s SMS Bulletin, it said, gebu sudhlh PM jgn macam iye2. Yg lu dgn siapa d APM? Perempuan yg cantik lentuK kepala dibahu u siapa. Pasl Siti, rasa da mual, loyah dgn gosip murahan.For the benefit of those who do not understand Malay, basically it is translated as “Please PM don’t try to act as a know-all. Who were you with during APM (referring to APM2008 in Kuala Lumpur)? Who was the pretty lady who rested her head on your shoulders? With regards to Siti, it’s getting nauseous with all these cheap gossips.”

For that person’s information and to whoever who had attended the event and wondered aloud who was I with that night, I believe a little refreshing of the mind is in store. To quote what I typed in my APM2008 review, I said, “Even though I had won two tickets from the radio phone-in contest organised by RIA 89.7FM, I gave both away eventually when KRU Singapore (Jihan & Janna) offered to have me seated amongst the bevy of artistes in attendance together with them. In a way, I was a KRU Music Group staff for the day. I mean, who would be dumb enough not to be seated near the industry bigwigs when you are presented with the golden opportunity right??? Or so I thought…” before adding on in the following paragraph that “We (me, Janna and her two cousins, Jihan was already with the other artistes under KRU’s stable) left the official hotel (Impiana-KLCC) of APM2008 where we were putting up…”

Yes, I was seated with Janna who is now in-charge of looking after our local group Sleeq that night, but we were also with her two cousins. And since I just got to know her cousins that night, it doesn’t make sense to sit with them and be all buddy-like, even though it has to be said as the night went on, I thoroughly enjoyed their company as well. I think in any similar situations in life, you would prefer to sit with people you have known for awhile and feel at ease to talk to. If this person was trying to stir the hornets’ nest, I believe he or she has not succeeded. Cos the wife knew who I was out with that night as I had informed her way beforehand.

As to the part of resting her head on my shoulders, I challenge that person who came up with that sms to come up with a photograph of that particular scene in action. The only thing I remembered was we put our heads nearer to listen to the other speak as the audio that invigorated the auditorium had drowned our voices. We were mindful of who we are, treating the event with some respect, unlike some people in the audience who raised their voices for no rhyme or reason or in the heat of being immersed with what was happening on stage. Besides, wouldn’t it be dumb of me to shoot myself on the foot doing things like that, bearing in mind that there were familiar faces amongst the audience???

If my first entry of the year had been planned a long time but was only published recently, this current one can also be classified under the same group as the former. Why??? Because I’ve long heard about the rumours from fellow listener friends who were there at the event and had come up to me personally to ask who was I with that night and if the wife had known. However, it is already nine months on from the event and I don’t understand why it had to be highlighted on national radio only now. I dunno if this was some form of a sick joke or trying to embarrass me publicly but I took the allegations seriously and am considering legal actions for slander. It could be anyone from the audience who has an axe to grind with me or just out for some mischief. It could also be someone I know, knowing full well how the listeners just love to change their nicknames to attack their own friends. 

It’s a good thing that the wife was ok with it because of the trust she has on me, knowing I wouldn’t be so stupid as to jeopardise my reputation so blatantly and I for one would not want to abuse that trust simply due to the fact that I love her with all my heart. Granted perhaps I’ve made a mistake in allowing myself to be scrutinised in such a way that people would have thought that I was having a scandal of sorts but the fact remains, I was in a group of five and I wasn’t the only guy. So please, “Mr / Miss Gebu” do yourself a favour, if you wanna pry into other people’s lives, do jolly well get your facts right, or at least have the guts to come up to them and ask. Your sms made you look stupid and when the legal letter comes at your doorstep, you’ll know it doesn’t pay to waste 30 cents worth of sms just to humiliate others on national radio. No wonder a good friend loves to say “Assumptions is the mother of all fuck ups!!!

First Movie of the Year…


Aida and I watched our first movie of the year 2009 last Friday evening. I’ve long waited for this third instalment ever since I got wind in early 2008 that it was due out late last year. Actually it was a toss up between watching Ip Man and Transporter 3. Since I’ve been a fan of this particular action movie since the very start because of its action scenes, it was easy to choose watching it over Ip Man. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve heard a lot of good reviews on the Chinese movie, and I would love to catch it someday, but my interest I guess took precedence.

Being a fan of the Transporter franchise, I was expecting the same wham-bam-thank-you-maam scenes and I wasn’t disappointed. How can I be when the movie was written by renowned action movie director Luc Besson??? Any movie made by this French maestro is sure to leave my adrenaline pumping. The Taxi series and The Transporter series are just two of the movies written and produced by him which I’m a big fan of. Not forgetting the parkour-filled Yamakasi.

The lead actor, Jason Statham is one hell of an action movie star. I think along with The Rock, he is my favourite action movie star. A pity he did not snag the role of The Hitman, another Luc Besson movie which I am a big fan of, especially the game on which the movie was based on. Maybe the downside for me was the role of the Ukrainian girl caught in the middle of the muddle. I thought she was bland and did not really brought the movie to life like Shu Qi did in the very first instalment. But if you’re a fan of action movies, this movie might well be worth your dollar to spend at the cinemas…

Being Stringent On Facebook…

I dunno if I could classify this as a positive or a negative start to 2009. Actually I have longed to write this piece of entry for the longest time but have been holding back for reasons I myself cannot explain. But something happened on my 30th birthday that I felt that it was finally time for me to come out with this entry. Before I move on, let me just say how loved I felt by the numerous sms-es, well-wishes, prayers and messages I received via Facebook, Multiply and Friendster as well as the Manchester United Singapore Supporters’ Group forum of which I’m a part of. Not forgetting the gifts I’ve received from family and loved ones.

Before Facebook came along and Friendster was the in thing, I didn’t mind accepting any friend requests that came along. But then over the course of time, I noticed that it was something that was not of substantial quality. Friendships were not maintained and the worst part was, we were all absolute strangers, even when we bumped into each other outside. There was even one person who claimed she did not request to add me when I wished her many happy returns on her birthday. So I thought to myself what’s the point of adding when you don’t even know the person or have not crossed paths before in life???

So when Facebook came along, I made it a point to only accept requests from people I know, from people I’ve crossed paths with in life, from people in the entertainment industry though I’ve not met face-to-face but I did not mind adding as they would be substantial to my networking circle, especially now that I’ve gained some form of credibility as an entertainment critic. I have an issue with people adding me in Facebook without first introducing themselves, especially when I don’t even know them in the first place or I have not made any contacts whatsoever before, physically or online. Cos I try to make it a point to leave a short note or introduction of myself whenever I request to add someone to my list, just to refresh that person’s memory of my existence in his or her life, bearing in mind I do not use my real name in Facebook.

I also have an issue with people who literally pepper their network with celebrities. Like example they have 150 people on their list, 70-80% of them are celebrities. I wonder if it’s a big kick to be associated with celebrities and whether they really keep in touch with them. I have no qualms whatsoever with the hardcore fans as they really do make the effort to support whenever they could so I do not begrudge them of this and the celebrities themselves know of their existence. I wonder how often do these people who pepper their contact list and make them colourful by adding celebrities, keep in touch with them.

On my own, I do not go round adding each and every single celebrity there is into my network for the sake of showing off to the whole world I am friends and all chummy with them. Whichever celebrities I have in my list, I can genuinely say 98% of them I have met or known before or they know of my bloody existence as a supporter of the local and regional music industry. Maybe there are a few exceptions, in that I have not met them but I am an admirer of their talents, but definitely I would not go behind their backs and stab them when the opportunity arises.

Which brings me to what happened yesterday. A contact (or should I say former contact now as I had removed her from my list) had entered one of my photo albums in Facebook whereby the album was filled with photographs of me and the artistes I’ve met throughout my lifetime. She couldn’t resist commenting on almost all of them and in an irritating manner, hitting out especially at Datin Sri Siti Nurhaliza, Camelia and our very own Nurul Aini for apparently loving to expose their skins for the world to see. The ironical part was she had Nurul in her list of contacts.

Since Facebook has this tagging feature which means whoever is in the photograph shares the same photograph in their respective profiles, it would just be a matter of time when the person being mentioned would see the comments being made. Since this person had condemned Nurul for her sense of dressing, I found it extremely hypocritical and diabolical that this person had added the said personality to her contact list. If you say you do not like someone, then please jolly well do yourself a favour and not add them in the first place.

When you condemned my caption of stating Camelia as one of the most beautiful women in Asia, it has to be said that it was taken off from a magazine which had named her as such. So sue the magazine if it does not match what you think and not vent your anger on me! Lastly, we all know what condemning someone as patient as Siti would mean. Eventually we would eat humble pie while she laughs all the way to the bank. It is one thing condemning others for their sense of dressing. But when you yourself is covered up from head to toe, I believe you need to have a certain degree of responsibility with the way you portray yourself and the words you use. Granted, you have the freedom of speech and individual rights to say what you like, but at least do so with a certain degree of decorum that would make people respect your thoughts.

You guys must be wondering why I added that person into my list in the first place. Well she used to be a colleague of my wife’s and since she’s a good friend of one of my uncles, I thought it wouldn’t be any harm adding her on. But I was wrong. The moment I bent backwards and bent the rules I set upon myself in Facebook, this had to happen. So yeah, I am gonna be even stricter in 2009 and I apologise to whoever reading this who would like to add me up in Facebook in that I cannot accede to your request. I’m not being snobbish, neither am I being pompous nor arrogant. Sometimes it’s best to keep one’s social network a closed one. There have been too many instances whereby one’s contact list is so big that he or she ended up being backstabbed by one of those in his or her list. I’m just being wary and I’ve always maintained that I am not a celebrity even if some have classified me as a celebrity blogger. A celebrity can add as many fans as he or she can, but a normal guy like me still appreciates having that wee bit of privacy within my own circle…