Being Stringent On Facebook…


I dunno if I could classify this as a positive or a negative start to 2009. Actually I have longed to write this piece of entry for the longest time but have been holding back for reasons I myself cannot explain. But something happened on my 30th birthday that I felt that it was finally time for me to come out with this entry. Before I move on, let me just say how loved I felt by the numerous sms-es, well-wishes, prayers and messages I received via Facebook, Multiply and Friendster as well as the Manchester United Singapore Supporters’ Group forum of which I’m a part of. Not forgetting the gifts I’ve received from family and loved ones.

Before Facebook came along and Friendster was the in thing, I didn’t mind accepting any friend requests that came along. But then over the course of time, I noticed that it was something that was not of substantial quality. Friendships were not maintained and the worst part was, we were all absolute strangers, even when we bumped into each other outside. There was even one person who claimed she did not request to add me when I wished her many happy returns on her birthday. So I thought to myself what’s the point of adding when you don’t even know the person or have not crossed paths before in life???

So when Facebook came along, I made it a point to only accept requests from people I know, from people I’ve crossed paths with in life, from people in the entertainment industry though I’ve not met face-to-face but I did not mind adding as they would be substantial to my networking circle, especially now that I’ve gained some form of credibility as an entertainment critic. I have an issue with people adding me in Facebook without first introducing themselves, especially when I don’t even know them in the first place or I have not made any contacts whatsoever before, physically or online. Cos I try to make it a point to leave a short note or introduction of myself whenever I request to add someone to my list, just to refresh that person’s memory of my existence in his or her life, bearing in mind I do not use my real name in Facebook.

I also have an issue with people who literally pepper their network with celebrities. Like example they have 150 people on their list, 70-80% of them are celebrities. I wonder if it’s a big kick to be associated with celebrities and whether they really keep in touch with them. I have no qualms whatsoever with the hardcore fans as they really do make the effort to support whenever they could so I do not begrudge them of this and the celebrities themselves know of their existence. I wonder how often do these people who pepper their contact list and make them colourful by adding celebrities, keep in touch with them.

On my own, I do not go round adding each and every single celebrity there is into my network for the sake of showing off to the whole world I am friends and all chummy with them. Whichever celebrities I have in my list, I can genuinely say 98% of them I have met or known before or they know of my bloody existence as a supporter of the local and regional music industry. Maybe there are a few exceptions, in that I have not met them but I am an admirer of their talents, but definitely I would not go behind their backs and stab them when the opportunity arises.

Which brings me to what happened yesterday. A contact (or should I say former contact now as I had removed her from my list) had entered one of my photo albums in Facebook whereby the album was filled with photographs of me and the artistes I’ve met throughout my lifetime. She couldn’t resist commenting on almost all of them and in an irritating manner, hitting out especially at Datin Sri Siti Nurhaliza, Camelia and our very own Nurul Aini for apparently loving to expose their skins for the world to see. The ironical part was she had Nurul in her list of contacts.

Since Facebook has this tagging feature which means whoever is in the photograph shares the same photograph in their respective profiles, it would just be a matter of time when the person being mentioned would see the comments being made. Since this person had condemned Nurul for her sense of dressing, I found it extremely hypocritical and diabolical that this person had added the said personality to her contact list. If you say you do not like someone, then please jolly well do yourself a favour and not add them in the first place.

When you condemned my caption of stating Camelia as one of the most beautiful women in Asia, it has to be said that it was taken off from a magazine which had named her as such. So sue the magazine if it does not match what you think and not vent your anger on me! Lastly, we all know what condemning someone as patient as Siti would mean. Eventually we would eat humble pie while she laughs all the way to the bank. It is one thing condemning others for their sense of dressing. But when you yourself is covered up from head to toe, I believe you need to have a certain degree of responsibility with the way you portray yourself and the words you use. Granted, you have the freedom of speech and individual rights to say what you like, but at least do so with a certain degree of decorum that would make people respect your thoughts.

You guys must be wondering why I added that person into my list in the first place. Well she used to be a colleague of my wife’s and since she’s a good friend of one of my uncles, I thought it wouldn’t be any harm adding her on. But I was wrong. The moment I bent backwards and bent the rules I set upon myself in Facebook, this had to happen. So yeah, I am gonna be even stricter in 2009 and I apologise to whoever reading this who would like to add me up in Facebook in that I cannot accede to your request. I’m not being snobbish, neither am I being pompous nor arrogant. Sometimes it’s best to keep one’s social network a closed one. There have been too many instances whereby one’s contact list is so big that he or she ended up being backstabbed by one of those in his or her list. I’m just being wary and I’ve always maintained that I am not a celebrity even if some have classified me as a celebrity blogger. A celebrity can add as many fans as he or she can, but a normal guy like me still appreciates having that wee bit of privacy within my own circle…



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7 replies

  1. Biar ramai kawan, jangan ramai musuh, Selamat tahun baru!

  2. Selamat Tahun Baru Putera Emas…
    Biar ramai kawan asal jgn ada musuh dalam selimut, gunting dalam lipatan ataupun jerangkung dalam almari… 🙂

  3. I can totally relate to your entry, particularly the part where you say you just want to have that little privacy by not adding others whom you don’t know on Facebook. Personally, I’ve set up another Facebook account which is strictly open to my friends because I just don’t feel ‘at home’ on my main account – too many unfamiliar people in there. But that’s not to say that I don’t appreciate my fans whom some of them probably are but I don’t really know as they have not done a proper introduction of sort. And as for the people yang suka mengata orang like the person you mentioned, perhaps they should just keep their thoughts to themselves. Kadang-kadang kita mengata orang tapi semuanya akan berbalik pada diri sendiri; each and everyone of us isn’t perfect. Lagi banyak kita burukkan orang, lagi buruk lah kita. I hope 2009 will see less of such kind of people! Happy new year! 🙂

    • Hi Sabby, Happy New Year to you and Nan too… 🙂

      Looking at what you typed, why not you create your own fan page and make your own main profile private to those who you feel at home with???
      I really cannot blame personalities like you for feeling like that cos in a way, you’re in a no-win situation and feel a bit trapped. You don’t accept their requests, they’ll think you’re too snobbish and high-handed. But when you accept, there is a tendency for them to misuse and abuse. I’ve seen this happening one too many times. I just hope people out there don’t add for the sake of adding and wanting to make their profiles look a little bit more extravagant. I always make it a point to add details of how I know someone in my Facebook list, like we used to be from the same school, we met at a show blah blah blah. At least kalau orang lain nak attack kita, we already have something to show for as to how we know / met one another and not just to spice up my profile with the who’s who…

  4. yes… kawan makan kawan. mostly what i do, i just add/accept (to make sure i’m not sombong), then after few weeks kalau i think the person hanya nak berbanyakkan number of friends, i just press the “x” button. habis cerita.

    • Well I dare say, 90% of the time ppl just wanna add on but dunno how to maintain them. Biarlah org nak kata I’m sombong, but I have absolutely valid reasons for doing what I do, and that is based on personal experiences and looking at others… At times I do make the effort to explain those I reject why I rejected their requests via personal messages. Esp if they’re serial clickers of “Add As Friend”…

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